


Change

by otomekaidii



Series: Cuddles for Mammon [2]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-neutral Reader, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Other, Pre-Relationship, Soft Mammon, mammon runs his mouth and it gets him into trouble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27481279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otomekaidii/pseuds/otomekaidii
Summary: You over hear Mammon talking to some demons at RAD, and both of you are forced to confront your feelings.
Relationships: Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Series: Cuddles for Mammon [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020583
Comments: 19
Kudos: 249





	Change

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn’t sure about Mammon calling you “babe” - but since I was calling him “babe” already, I figured it wouldn’t be an issue to use the term of endearment for a gender-neutral reader.

Classes had just finished at RAD, and you were walking towards the main gates to meet up with Satan so you could walk home together. Normally Mammon would escort you, but you had planned on staying after today to work on an assignment and told him not to wait for you. It worked out, however, that you had been able to finish your work during a free period in the library, so you got to leave early. 

As you walked along, a familiar voice found its way to your ears and you broke out into a wide smile. Mammon was still at RAD and hadn’t left yet! Maybe he’d be able to join you on the way home? There was so much you had wanted to talk to him about, and you looked forward to this time together after every school day. 

When you had first arrived here in the Devildom, your mere presence seemed to annoy him and he took advantage of every opportunity to dump you with his brothers and make himself scarce. But things had changed. Though he never said it, you were almost certain he was in love with you. His brothers would tease him about it regularly and it always left him so flustered and embarrassed. 

And the truth was, you loved him too. Unconditionally. You knew how hard he tried to do the right thing, even if his plans often ended in disaster. And you admired how he was always looking out for his brothers, and didn’t even look for any acknowledgement - in fact, he preferred it that way. They didn’t know it was him who bought Levi’s new games when he had missed the preorder window, or that he had arranged for an entire truck load of Beel’s favorite pudding to be delivered after he had eaten the last cup that Beel had been saving. He had his reputation to maintain after all. And being thoughtful and considerate was not the look he was going for. 

Mammon never failed to make you smile either. And while he was the biggest scaredy cat you had ever met (how was it even possible for demons to be scared of ghosts?), he always showed up to protect you when it mattered. Yeah, it stung sometimes when he’d intentionally keep his distance from you to avoid the teasing of his brothers, but you knew whenever you were alone with him that he treasured you more than anything. 

These thoughts in mind, you quickened your pace and headed towards the sound of his voice. 

“Hey Mammon, are you coming out with us tonight? That new club opened up.” 

“Nah, ‘got babysittin’ duty tonight courtesy of Lucifer.”

“Babysitting duty? You’re still following that pathetic human around?” 

You stopped dead in your tracks, rooted to the spot. The laughter of the other demons echoed in the now empty halls. You knew you should move. You needed to leave. This was not a conversation you should be listening to. And every fiber of your being said you should get out of there before you regret it. But still, you couldn’t get your feet to move. 

“Ya know how it is. They’re so fragile. It’s not like I wanna be stuck with ‘em. But I can’t exactly let ‘em die either.”

“MC?” 

You gave a small yelp as you spun around to find Satan behind you. It seemed you had taken too long to meet up with him so he had gone looking for you out of concern for your safety. You stared at him for a moment struggling to even process what he was doing there. But your brain was stuck on a loop of Mammon’s voice saying, “It's not like I wanna be stuck with ‘em,” on repeat over and over again. 

“Um yeah, fine. See ya,” you numbly replied to Satan before you took off running. You just had to get back to your room. And now. Fast. You could feel your cheeks heating up and the pressure building behind your eyes. _Just a little further_ , you thought, as you pushed yourself to run even harder than you knew you were capable of. _Just a little further_. 

————

Satan stood there stunned. He had no idea why the hell you had taken off like that, nor had he understood your bizarre response when he had greeted you. Had he done something? He couldn’t think of anything since he hadn’t spoken to you since he saw you in the library earlier that afternoon. 

That was when Mammon stuck his head out from around the corner. He could have sworn he heard your voice, but you were nowhere to be found. _Weird_. You had told him that he shouldn’t wait for you, but he had decided to anyway. The highlight of his day was walking home with you from school, so he wasn’t about to miss out on that just because you had to stay late. He had decided not to tell you, because he didn’t want to admit that out loud, but he had worked out the perfect cover story to explain why he would show up *just* as you were leaving RAD. 

“Mammon.”

He jumped with a start before noticing Satan just on the other side of the corner. 

“Holy crap. Why ya gotta sneak up on me like that?!” 

“What. Did. You. Do.” Satan replied, emphasizing every word. He didn’t know what Mammon had said or done, but there was no way his presence and your sudden absence were unrelated. He couldn’t be sure, but he knew his brother well enough to know he had doubtless said something he shouldn’t have. 

“Do?! I have no idea whattya talkin’ about! Honest! I was just hangin’ out with some friends. I swear!” 

“Then why did MC take off running?” 

“They WHAT?!” 

Mammon’s face blanched. _Oh no. Oh no no no no no._ There was no way you had overheard him right? Nah, you couldn’t have. He would have known you were there. You would have said hi at least. You always said hi. Yeah Satan had to be mistaken. That couldn’t possibly be why you had left. 

But try as he might to convince himself he wasn’t to blame - Mammon knew. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, he knew. That sinking feeling in his stomach was proof enough for him. 

“Fix it,” said Satan, narrowing his eyes at Mammon, “Fix it or I tell Lucifer.” And with that he walked off to find you to make sure you had gotten home safely, despite his idiot of a brother. Why you enjoyed Mammon’s company was beyond him. But he knew how happy the scumbag made you, for better or worse, and that was the only reason he wasn’t giving Mammon a public thrashing right now. He at least had to give him a chance to talk to you, for your sake. 

————

You weren’t sure how long you had been asleep when you heard a knock at your door. You weren’t in any condition to talk to anyone right now, so you hoped if you just laid there quietly for long enough they’d assume you were still asleep and leave. 

But this wasn’t just anyone knocking at your door. It was Mammon. The most persistent demon in the entire Devildom, that also lacked that crucial ability to read a room and know when to leave well enough alone. 

“HEY! MC! I know you’re in there. I gotta talk to ya. Open up.” 

You let out a heavy sigh, and rose from your bed to go open the door. You knew better than most that there was no getting rid of Mammon at this point. He had decided to talk to you, so talk to you was what he was going to do, and you knew he was likely to break down the door itself if you made him wait too long. 

So, without a word, you let him inside. 

Before you had even had time to sit down on the edge of your bed, he had launched into a long winded, frantic explanation and apology. He had been joking. He didn’t mean it. You know how he is. He gets nervous. 

“Mammon. It’s ok.” 

He stopped mid sentence and took a good look at you. You certainly did not look ok. Your eyes were red. There were still dried tears staining your cheeks. Your hair was a disaster. There was no way you were ok, not while you looked like that. 

Feeling a bit self conscious, you ran your fingers through your hair to hopefully at least get the tangles out, and flatten the lumps. It was probably a useless gesture, but you still had to try if you wanted Mammon to stop staring at you any time soon. 

“You don’t look ok.” 

Of course, trust Mammon to state the obvious. You couldn’t help but laugh a little. This was one of the things you had loved about him after all. It was part of his charm. 

“Um thanks? I guess? I just meant you didn’t have to worry about me anymore. It’s ok. I got it.” 

“Whattya talkin’ about?! What do you get?? You haven’ even listened ta me yet!” 

You gave Mammon a small smile. He was trying so hard to figure this out and talk to you. You just had to appreciate that. You knew how difficult it was for him to articulate things sometimes, and talking about his feelings with you was particularly challenging for him. 

“Look, I was being foolish. I got caught up in my own thoughts and began to expect things I shouldn’t, and I put pressure on you that you didn’t need. But I’ve cleared my head now and found a new perspective so you don’t have to worry. Honest. I’ll get Beel to start walking with me. It’ll be fine.” 

Mammon was stunned. He had no idea what you were carrying on about. You expected things? You pressured him? When have you ever done that? The only thing you ever expected of him was for him to be himself, and he naturally just wanted to be the best version of himself he could for you. He wanted to make you proud of him. The fact that you never pressured him to change was one of the things he loved about you too. You accepted him and all his flaws, and you were always there to help him out of a tight spot or encourage him when he was feeling out of sorts. 

And he loved you so much it hurt. Even though he knew he could never tell you, and knew you would never return his feelings, he still wanted to spend every second he could with you and make you smile so much you’d never forget him. 

You sighed again. You could tell Mammon wasn’t understanding what you were saying. You had tried to avoid saying it directly because your emotions were still raw, but it looked like you had no choice but to rip off the bandaid and just get it all out there. Otherwise who knew how long it would take for him to understand? 

“I love you, Mammon.”

Well, that was not what he was expecting. 

“I love you very much. More than I thought possible. But I realize that I was projecting my feelings onto you and reading into things more than I should. Even though I had no reason to believe you felt the same, I still convinced myself you did. And I treated you like we were more than just friends. I shouldn’t have done that and put pressure on you. So, I’m sorry.”

You had been staring at your hands while you spoke, so you didn’t see when Mammon’s face flushed scarlet or when a few tears leaked out from the corners of his eyes. You also didn’t notice that he was about to wrap you up in the tightest, bone crushing hug of your life. 

“I love you too,” he whispered, “so so much.”

By now you were laying flat on your back on your bed after being tackled by Mammon, practically immobilized as he buried his face into your neck and confessed his love to you. With what limited motion you had, you managed to wrap one of your arms around his back, rubbing it gently as he cried tears of happiness. 

Now it was your turn to be at a loss for words. He loved you? You had realized when you had overheard him talking to his school friends that he was just being his usual awkward self. That wasn’t really what had upset you, not on its own at least. It wasn’t the first time he had said similar things to cover up his own embarrassment and you had gotten used to speaking “Mammon.” 

No, what had gotten to you was the fact that you were forced to face the idea that you were nothing more than a friend to him. That was all you’d ever be. You’d finish up what remained of your year here, then you’d get sent back to the human realm, and he’d carry on with his life until he was introduced to a new exchange student whom he’d have to look after. 

You weren’t his partner. He was never going to walk hand in hand with you through the halls of RAD, proudly showing you off to any demon that looked his way. That was all just a fantasy you had cooked up in your head due to your own loneliness and desire for love. 

But now he was telling you that he loved you, and your brain was struggling to catch up with your heart, which had already started to run wild. All that work you had done convincing yourself to be more logical and not jump to conclusions was quickly unraveling. He loves you. He really loves you. 

You wanted to give him a better hug, so you tried to wiggle your other arm free that was currently pinned to your side underneath him. But his grip on you only tightened, afraid you were about to push him away or take back what you said. 

“Mammon, babe, can you at least let me hug you?”, you asked with a smirk as you tried to turn your head to face him, wiggling your arm again and hoping he’d get the message. 

“Oh!” 

He jumped back slightly, afraid he had been hurting you, which only made you laugh. With your arm now free you adjusted your position, returning his hug with one of your own, holding him as tightly and closely as possible. You leaned your head against his, giving him a small kiss by his ear, and repeated what you had said earlier - “I love you.”

Mammon pulled back a bit, trying to get a better view of your face. Now that he was calmer, he really wanted to get a good look at you. He wanted to be sure he wasn’t dreaming and that he wasn’t hallucinating. He needed to see you speak and hear those words as they left your lips.

“Say it again.”

“I love you.” 

And with that, he proceeded to give you the best kiss you had ever had in your life. 

————

Mammon was playing with your hair as you slept curled up by his side, your head resting on his chest. Your legs were tangled together with his, and he loved how close he was able to hold you now. 

Part of his mind was still convinced this was all some sort of weird fever dream. Nothing this good ever happened to him. Maybe he’d score big at a casino sometime, but that paled in comparison to being able to hold you in his arms now. You really were all his. He didn’t have to share you with anyone, and if he didn’t like how another demon looked at you, well, he would just have to kiss you right in front of them to show them who you belonged to. 

That thought made him chuckle. Who you belonged to? Pfft. You didn’t belong to anyone. If anything, he belonged to you. He had since the first day you met, though it took him a long time to admit it. But look at him now. He finally got to tell you how he felt, and he didn’t have to hide it from you anymore. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Mammon’s hand stilled, “Sorry, did I wake ya?”

“No, I’ve been awake for awhile now. Just enjoying the peace and quiet I guess.” You gave him a squeeze with the arm that was around his chest. This was definitely a good way to wake up, and you hoped you’d be able to spend many more moments like this together with him. 

“Well, I should probably head back to my room. It’ll be time for breakfast soon and the last thing I need is Lucifer’s naggin’ first thing in the morning.”

You whined and buried your face into his chest. You weren’t ready for him to leave yet.

Seeing you like that made Mammon impossibly happy. How could you be so cute? It shouldn’t be allowed. You shouldn’t be able to make him feel this loved just by clinging to him either. 

You whined again, realizing that he was right. And as much as you wanted for this moment to continue and to never have to leave this bed again, there were still some questions that had to be answered before he left, and you realized you couldn’t avoid them any longer.

“So umm...about yesterday…”

“Yeah? What about it?” 

“Do you...umm…What do you intend to tell your friends?” 

“My friends? Tell ‘em about what?” 

“Me.”

 _Oh. Right._ He forgot about that. Or more like he tried to forget. It had been sitting at the back of his mind since he woke up and realized he needed to go to school today. He had seriously considered just running off with you and trying to convince you that today was the perfect day for a trip, just to avoid having to deal with it. 

Nothing had really been resolved yesterday. He knew that. After he kissed you, the two of you had just crawled into bed together to cuddle with some random movie playing in the background. The idea had been to watch the movie together, but all y’all had ended up doing was giggling and kissing and being generally silly, until you fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

“Mammon?” 

His silence was making you nervous, so you propped yourself up to get a better look at him. It was too dark to make out any details of his expression, but you could tell that he was lost in thought and not really looking at you. 

“Mammon?”, you called his name again, and this time he responded by giving you a gentle squeeze with the arm that had settled around your shoulder. 

“Do we really need to tell them anythin’? I mean, it’s not like they are really my friends ya know? Just some demons I hang around with at RAD.” 

You may have been a bit drowsy earlier, but now you were wide awake. You sat up so your legs were hanging over the edge of the bed, with your back to Mammon. You were so foolish. So incredibly foolish. Why oh why did you not stick to your guns and push him away when you had the chance yesterday? How could you be so stupid as to actually confess to him? Hadn’t you been trying to create some distance?

It didn’t matter how deeply you loved each other. That wouldn’t change the fact that Mammon cared a great deal about how he was perceived by others. It didn’t matter if those people (or demons) would never see him again. He could tell you all day about how little those not-really-friends of his meant to him, but when it came down to it he still cared about what they thought and feared their rejection. 

And you knew this about him. For all his passion and kindness and sincerity - he was only ever like that around you, when you were alone. And that wasn’t going to change anytime soon, and it wasn’t fair of you to expect him to change for you either. 

“Babe? Ya alright?” 

Mammon was sitting up now too, and had wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, placing one leg on either side of you so that you were essentially sitting in his lap. He kissed the back of your neck, and gave you a moment to reply. 

He knew what was coming though. You knew him better than anyone. And he was painfully aware of this glaring personality flaw of his that was getting in the way of your relationship ever going forward. 

You would never ask him to change, that wasn’t the sort of person you were. But you also realized that there wasn’t a future for you and Mammon, a future of any kind, if you couldn’t live your life openly and had to try to hide, minimize, or even flat out deny your relationship a good deal of the time. Or worse, listen to him deny he even cared. 

Mammon rested his forehead against the back of your shoulder. _I guess that’s it_ , he thought to himself. He had true happiness within his sight, and then messed it up like he always messed up everything. What he wouldn’t give to be able to change this about himself. Or for him to be anyone else, really. Someone that wasn’t a total waste of space that could actually make you happy and give you everything you deserved. 

There wasn’t anything else to say at this point, so Mammon planted one last kiss to the back of your head, breathing in your scent and trying to commit it to memory, before slipping out of bed and finally returning to his room. 

————

Today had sucked. Really and truly sucked. The morning had started off with so much promise, but that was all over before breakfast had even begun. 

Despite the fact that you and Mammon had finally made your feelings known to each other, both of you realized that being in an actual relationship would be impossible. You just wanted different things, and these weren’t things that he was able to give you. 

You heaved a sigh and rested your forehead on your desk. Why couldn’t today be over already? Or maybe the floor could just swallow you up? That could work too, you thought. 

The ear splitting screech of static jarred you out of your thoughts. Your hands flew to your ears as you sat bolt upright, looking around the room for the source of this hellish noise. 

“Hey hey, is this thing on? It’s on right?”

“Yes it’s on you idiot! Everyone can hear you!”

Mammon…? And...Levi…? The screech of the speakers had finally stopped, and instead the sound of their bickering filled the halls. What on earth could these two possibly be doing? Why was Levi even at RAD in the first place? He was heading to his room to work on his online classes when you left this morning. 

“Oi! Listen up! Consider this an official RAD announcement from The Great Mammon!” 

You could hear Levi groan in the background as Mammon carried on with the theatrics. You still hadn’t figured out what they were up to, but you knew it wasn’t “Lucifer approved” that’s for sure. 

“MC, I hope ya listen’ ‘cause I’m only goin’ ta say this once!” 

All the eyes in your classroom were now focused on you, and you blushed furiously under the scrutiny. What the everloving hell did Mammon think he was doing? Didn’t you say all you needed to say this morning? What could he possibly want at this point?

“I love ya. Ya hear that? The Great Mammon loves ya.”

————

You weren’t even sure at what point you had stood up or left your classroom, but you were now tearing through the halls trying to find the source of the magically amplified speaker that filled every square inch of the RAD campus with the sounds of Mammon’s love confession.

It wasn’t like they had a traditional speaker system hooked up to a switchboard. If they did, you would have just made a beeline for that. But now you had to find where Mammon and Levi had decided to hide to keep Lucifer from finding them long enough for Mammon to complete his speech.

You didn’t have to search for long though, because you soon heard the sound of Lucifer’s voice echoing through the halls as well. He had found Mammon, and was putting an end to this. With Lucifer on the scene though, you knew that meant your odds of finding Mammon had shot up exponentially. He’d probably haul the pair of mischievous demons to the student council room, so you started running in that direction as fast as your legs could carry you. 

As you rounded one final corner, you skidded to a halt, watching Lucifer dragging Mammon along, while Mammon tried to convince his brother to go easy on him. 

“Mammon!” you yelled.

He and Lucifer both turned to face you, equally shocked to see you there at the end of the hall, panting heavily as you tried to catch your breath. Soon you were running again, tears streaming down your face as you were overcome with emotion at finally having found him. As if you had done this hundreds of times before, Mammon opened his arms to you and you all but leapt into them, wrapping your arms around his neck and squeezing him as tight as you possibly could. 

“I love you,” you choked out in between ragged breaths and sobs, “so much.” 

“I know. I love ya too. You don’t hafta worry. No more hidin’. Now everyone knows I belong to you and that you’re mine.”


End file.
